Hi there, welcome to my little space on the internet. Is this your first time here? I recommend starting at the beginning of my journey. The moment I was asked Are you Trans?
Alright, if you’re all caught up let’s jump into the rest of my first 18 months on testosterone. The 5 early changes that I listed in My First Three Months on Testosterone, continued throughout my first year and a half. Along with a few other changes.
No more tears
One change I didn’t talk about in my last post was my new inability to cry as soon as I started testosterone. I am a Cancer 🦀 therefore I am a crier. I’ve always been a crier. The moment I started T, I was no longer able to cry. I would watch movies and feel some sadness and the sense that I wanted to tear up but my eyes were completely dry. I’d heard about this phenomenon but I honestly didn’t expect it to be legit and yet here I was, unable to shed a tear. This inability to cry did not last, I bawled like a baby at my oldest son’s wedding which was just over a year after I started hrt.
Another shift in emotions
You’ve likely heard that testosterone causes aggression and anger. I’ve found this to be true and not true. I have definitely noticed a shift in my emotions since being on T. In the past, something that would have hurt my feelings, would have caused me to feel sad where now I’m more likely to feel anger. That being said, I would not say that testosterone has made me more aggressive. My moods are more level now though, I don’t experience monthly shifts like I did pre-T.
More hair, less hair
I recently shaved my head and if I wasn’t already aware, I couldn’t deny the obvious change in my hairline. There is no doubt that some receding and thinning has happened.
As for the more hair, that has been a slow process for me. I’ve had a bit more growth on my arms and legs. One or two chest hairs. I am definitely sporting a more furry belly which I didn’t expect to appreciate, but I do 😄 As for facial hair, I can grow a faint moustache now and the typical trans guy growth under the chin, not on the chin but underneath. Hopefully my facial hair will improve at least a bit more over the next year.
Another big change on testosterone is fat distribution. AFAB (assigned female at birth) people typically store fat in the hips, thighs and butt. Testosterone shifts the fat stores to the upper body, specifically the waist and abdomen. I have definitely noticed this shift as well as an increase in muscle mass specifically in my thighs, calves and arms.
Of all the changes I experienced in the first year and a half on testosterone, becoming myself has had the most impact. When I look in the mirror I now see the person I always knew I was staring back at me. Being truly seen by others feels amazing but becoming me has literally changed my world.