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The day I received my prescription
July 9, 2019, I’m sitting in my car holding a piece of paper I’d been waiting over a year for. Looking at the prescription in my hand I’m overwhelmed by a mix of emotions; shock, elation, relief. I get out of the car and walk with an unfamiliar confidence into my local pharmacy.
I expect to feel some trepidation handing over this seemingly small slip of paper that is going to immediately out me to people I’ve known all my life. At the time I’m back living in my small hometown, one of those places where everyone knows your name. My eagerness to finally get that first shot of testosterone coursing through my body was overshadowing any sense of nerves. As I hand the prescription over to the pharmacist’s helper she explains that the pharmacist who does injections won’t be in again until Thursday but they will take my prescription and get everything ready so that 9:00 am Thursday morning I can come in for my first shot.
Patience has never been a strength of mine
I can’t be sure but I may still be paying for that one time I prayed for patience 🙄
The next two days are excruciatingly long. I could have chosen to pick my prescription up the next day to start administering my own shots but I am far too nervous at this point to give myself injections, so I wait not so patiently until Thursday.
I walk up to the pharmacy counter, announce why I’m there and sit down to wait for the pharmacist to prepare the needle. I’m called into a tiny room that I’ve never noticed before, I sit down, roll up my sleeve and within seconds 0.5 ml of testosterone is injected into my arm. There’s only a handful of moments in my life that have elicited as much excitement as getting that very first shot of testosterone, meeting each one of my eight kids, witnessing my oldest marry his childhood sweetheart and my fiancée’s face when I proposed to name a few.
After receiving my shot and before I even leave the parking lot I make a quick video of my pre-t voice which I’ll add below if you’d like to take a listen.
Here is a comparison video of my voice now, almost 19 months later.
Early feelings and changes
Within days of that first shot my throat got scratchy and slightly irritated. My energy was through the roof right along with my sex drive (sorry mom & kids if you’re reading this 😂) Thursday’s couldn’t come fast enough as I anticipated my next shot. My mental health and emotional well being did a complete 180. I remember earlier in my journey, an older trans woman told me that her doctor had said that if hrt is right for someone, they’ll feel better mentally and emotionally almost immediately. Now I don’t know if this is at all factual but it certainly worked that way for me!
Don’t miss out
I’ve barely scratched the surface of my experiences since starting hormone replacement therapy. Be sure to like and follow along so you don’t miss out on the details of my transition journey.
Looking for more?
Are you transgender, nonbinary, gender nonconforming, genderfluid, genderqueer or questioning your gender? Struggling to accept yourself? Wondering what’s next? What does my future hold? Do you need support in coming out to family, friends, at work? Are you out and now looking to discover yourself and live your best most authentic life?